Sunday, July 20, 2008

The Problem of Pain



So much off my life is about impatience. I hate to wait for things to happen. I like the quick fix and I like to make things happen. Right or wrong, I love to do it by the seat of my pants.

I’m about getting on the fast-track for a job (which I never have able to do), or having the right contact or taking one more assignment.

Most of you know I am going through a deep heartbreak and it cuts to the center of my soul.

Yesterday I as I was ambling through the streets of Chicago I was struck with an interesting nugget of truth. The problem of pain, isn’t pain its self. It’s how we seek to avoid it.

I am not talking about head aches or the hurt of a broken knee cap after an ice-skating mishap. (Yes, my knee is back to almost 100 percent. I am not running or jogging, but I didn’t do it that much before.) I am talking about the hard lessons of life. Losing a job, healing a broken heart, the death of a loved one or even hard, labor-intensive work – they all have something wrapped inside them that we have to go through to understand and grow from.

This description lacks biological depth but, It’s when a butterfly is in a cocoon – the butterfly has to fight its way out to be beautiful, other wise it would still be a caterpillar.

Twenty years ago in college – a close friend and staff member told me something very hard to swallow. But, yesterday I think I finally grabbed hold it. He said, “Dean, you typically avoid doing the hard-things.”

Yesterday somewhere between the Borders across from the Water Tower and the Chicago River I found it.

Every hardship usually has a lesson that we have to learn in the midst of it. It usually has a lesson about me that means I have to dig in and crawl through. It means I have to look myself straight in the eye and see myself. I have to take responsibility and I have to embrace the pain, before I get the lesson.

It’s kinda like this, up till recently, when I was bored – I would grab something to eat. Not that I was hungry, I wanted to be busy. I didn’t like being inactive. Other times, I’d get on the phone to talk to a friend rather than just be quiet and think… still other times, I’d jump online and surf the internet.

Nothing wrong with any of these activities, but they are often just spinning our wheels when we should be listening to ourselves think.

We seek to avoid discomfort. Actually, that’s WHAT we should be seeking. Something about pain and the unpleasant that makes us be honest, forces us to our knees to find an answer.

That’s why some people look to drugs and alcohol. Others in relationships – any relationship – or maybe it’s a new job. Change of scenery or personnel always gives you something to hope for rather than look inside. It could be a hobby. Just something to get our minds distracted.

Here’s my deep thought of the day. Pain hurts! But, it can heal us. You don’t have to like trouble, but you do have to go through it – eventually.

A wise friend of mine, used to tell me “you can’t outrun your problems.” You can’t. Those issues say more about who we are, why we are, and why we are were we are. Our issues aren’t built by situations, they are revealed by them.


I am a huge student of history and military conflict. So often when a major battle was underway, what did a solider do? He’d settle in for the long haul. Win or lose, they knew they would not be moved. In World War II and in other conflicts, they’d dig a fox hole.

In the movie Braveheart, William Wallace implored his men to fight and defend their lands. Even to the point of death they understood that it wasn’t about the fight, it was about the future of a free Scotland.

This is also about your own victory – It may not be quick, it may not be easy, but I believe you’ll be better for going through it and understanding why.

Here’s your shovel, let’s dig in.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dean,
Right on. It's not always about the destination, but the journey. My greatest times of growth is when my life seems to be filled with conflict. Hang in there. God is good (all the time) --Stan

Mayden' s Voyage said...

CS Lewis once wrote that Christ died on the cross- not that our suffering would end...but rather to show us how to glorify God when we did suffer.

He suffered with grace, and humility, and resignation that God's plan was right and Jesus was submitted to that plan.

I haven't been over here to read you in months- and saw your link on my sidebar and came for a visit. You don't know how much I needed to read your post today- in my own season of tremendous pain and confusion...and a strong urge to run. I want to avoid the head on collision I know is coming.

I know I need to stay put and deal with it, and surrender to the bigger plan...but it's not easy.
Right- yes, good- perhaps...but definitely not easy.

May God bless you as you walk this difficult path~

Anonymous said...

I love your blog about the problem of pain - lots of good
thoughts and perspectives. I especially appreciate your willingness to
face this head on. One of my favorite lines from a song is "never
settle for the path of least resistance..." I think we all fall victim
to wanting the easy way out - the least painful route but you're so
right that we have to push through difficult situations in order to
learn and grow. Keep pushing through it Dean!

Anonymous said...

Your blog was awesome. I've forwarded it onto to some folks who have been struggling with inner turmoil as well. It's very encouraging to see what the Lord is doing in you as a result of the difficulties he's brought you through. Have you ever considered working as a writer for a newspaper, magazine, or possibly publishing a book? I think the Lord has given you the gift of "insight" into the inner struggles we all go through, in one way or the other.

Hang in there, man.