Friday, June 30, 2006

Remembering Randy Walker

For seven seasons Randy Walker had been quietly establishing Northwestern University football into a solid and consistent program in the Big Ten.
(photo courtesy Northwestern University Sports Information)

An apparent heart-attack ripped his life and season number eight away Thursday night.

At 52-years old, he leaves behind his wife, two children, three bowl appearances at Northwestern and thousands of lives touched as a coach and friend.

As I reflect on the sad and sudden news, I can't help but be reminded by the simple truth. We all will have the same destiny. We all will lose our lives. Some of us choose to live life, some choose to endure it, some don't even have a clue.

I don't know if Randy was prepared for his death, I suspect he was. Coaches are the types who prepare for everything. I stop and wonder about my own immortality. I wonder about the goals I've reached, the lives I've impacted. It's pretty scary. I am not sure I like the few answers I find.

I do know this. We have a choice to give or keep. We have a choice to be couragous or frightened. To protect ourselves, or to pour ourselves into things that make others better, that change lives and change the world.

Some say Randy Walker lost his life. I say no, he gave his life. So he never lost it, he invested it in something bigger then himself.

Recently a unheralded movie hit the big screen - End of the Spear. It's the story of Christian missionaries who literally gave their life to invest in men, women and children of a brutal native tribe in the jungles of the Amazon in Ecuador. One of the men who was killed, Jim Elliott penned a quote years before:

"He is no fool that gives up what he can not keep,
to gain what he can never lose."

Randy Walker literally gave up his heart and life for the game of football and for the men who played it.
Read more about Randy Walker

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Off the Ice

Here's a story of my friends Guy and Nicole Dupuis and their miracle baby from the Fort Wayne News-Sentinel.


Cherishing the gift
Prayer sustained Komets defenseman and his wife in an off-ice challenge
By Blake Sebring
bsebring@news-sentinel.com
Guy and Nicole Dupuis believe sometimes God reaches down to tap them on the shoulder. Sometimes it’s to remind them of something. Other times it’s to get their attention, and once in a while it’s just to let them know God is there.
They’ve had quite a few taps lately, and luckily, they’ve known exactly what each one meant. The Komets defenseman and his wife used their faith to provide stability and strength during a very trying challenge late in the season.
When Nicole was six months pregnant with their third child, she started carrying extra amniotic fluid and having pre-term labor problems. On Feb. 7 the doctor reported several troubling areas in the ultra-sound test and wanted the couple to see another doctor.
The second doctor agreed the child had several abnormalities and was 70 percent sure the baby had Trisomy 18 which affects 1 of every 3,000 births; or Trisomy 13, which occurs in 1 of every 5,000 births. In either case, life-sustaining measures are not recommended before birth. They were told the baby likely would not live to be born, or would not live for very long thereafter.
“The baby was in a breech position and the doctor explained that a normal delivery would result in his death,” Nicole said. “The doctor said he wouldn’t recommend a cesarean section because the baby would likely die at or shortly after birth.”
Further tests were ordered.
“He tells us there’s a 70 percent chance that the baby is not going to survive a few days, a week or two months and a 30 percent chance he might make it two or three years,” Guy said. “He did not think this was a child with Down syndrome.”
Devastated, Guy and Nicole went home to begin mourning the death of their son, to pray and prepare their children Brooke, 9, and Mitchell, 7. The four decided to name the baby Matthew, meaning “Gift of the Lord.” Their priest, Father John Kuzmich at St. Vincent’s Catholic Church, met with them to pray.
After Guy and Nicole told a few family members and friends, a prayer chain started that grew to include hundreds and then thousands of people. A call from a friend in Bakersfield, Calif., where Guy had played in 2002-03, said there were more than 600 people praying for them.
“What was comforting for us and helped us through was taking the attitude that life is a gift and if God gives us an opportunity to have Matthew for a few hours, weeks or months, we were going to cherish that gift,” Guy said. “That helped us to be positive and more optimistic. It was out of our control and in his, and that helped us.We’re his parents and if something happens and we don’t get to meet him here, then we’ll get to be his parents one day in heaven.”
When Nicole experienced signs of preterm labor, she called her doctor and told him she wanted something to stop the labor at least until further tests came back.
“I just couldn’t live with thinking that delivering this child was going to kill him since he was breech,” she said.
Four days later, the report came back saying the original diagnosis was wrong. The problem was Trisomy 21, or Down syndrome. The doctor was baffled and asked how aggressively Nicole wanted to be treated.
“Whatever I have to do, I’ll do to keep the baby in there,” she said.
Meanwhile the family continued to pray, as did thousands in expanding prayer chains. Nicole would lie in bed each morning praying over the baby. Some people congratulated them on having a Down syndrome baby.
“People we would talk to were like, ‘I’m sorry and I hope this doesn’t offend you, congratulations,’” Nicole said.
“Whoever gets congratulated that their kid has Down syndrome? For me that was great. I wonder if it happened that way so that we’d be excited for Matthew to come into our family.”
There were other moments when they felt God’s tapping. Guy had left Fort Wayne and the Komets in 1999, but came back this year when his family needed to be at home with Nicole’s parents, friends and their church. Nicole’s parents live next to family friends Jenny and Joe Bockerstette — who have a daughter Amy with Down syndrome and co-founded the Down Syndrome Association of Northeast Indiana.
“We already had a group of people in place to both educate and support us,” Nicole said.
When Nicole was 28 weeks into her pregnancy, because of the extra amniotic fluid she measured as if she was 38 weeks along. The doctor checked her weekly to see if she needed some fluid drained. The procedure carries a chance of infection or miscarriage so she dealt with the discomfort.
“We kept asking people for prayers and they kept asking other people,” Nicole said. “I got a card from a lady I don’t know who had a child with Trisomy 18 that died a couple of months after birth. She just wanted to let me know that she and her husband were praying for Matthew. I was so touched that they knew his name let alone were praying for us every night.”
“Honestly, the way that our friends and family prayed for us and asked others for prayers was amazing. We certainly didn’t feel alone going through this.”
During this entire time, Guy continued to go to practice and play defense for the Komets. He missed one practice and one road game. His teammates supported him and a couple said they were praying for him.
When he was at the games, he gave his cell phone to Komets trainer Shawn Dundon in case Nicole called in an emergency, because she was still experiencing signs of preterm labor. A couple times he was within a few seconds of going onto the ice when he’d call Nicole to see if he should play or not.
“It affected me emotionally somewhat,” Guy said. “…You have your normal mind-set before you go to the game, but I’d be home being wrapped up in all of this. It was difficult, but it also gave me a little time to focus just on hockey and have a release. I wasn’t able to do that every game. It takes a toll on you.”
After playing exceptionally well in February, his statistics slipped down the stretch, but he was still named the Komets’ best defenseman. The Komets ended their regular season April 15.
The next day — on Easter —Matthew was born.
“We both burst into tears because he was six weeks early,” Nicole said. “We knew that with Down syndrome he could have a lot of complications anyway, but coming this early we knew he could be in a lot of trouble.”
It was determined an emergency cesarean section was necessary, and Matthew was born 18 inches long and weighing 5 pounds, 14 ounces.
While Matthew stayed in intensive care for 12 days, his father would go to practice and then sleep at the hospital. He left with the Komets on Thursday for the playoff series against Rockford. The Komets were defeated in five games.
Finally, Matthew got to go home, where Guy’s mother had arrived from Canada to pitch in along with Nicole’s parents. The family kept asking for more prayers.
“I honestly believe it’s the prayers that have made him as healthy as he is,” she said. “He’s real strong. He has already rolled over at six weeks. From here we just love him and take care of him like we do our other kids.”
Several weeks later, as Nicole holds Matthew in her lap to feed him, a heart monitor’s lights flash from the floor. Everywhere Matthew goes the monitor gets picked up and goes with him. He’s been quarantined for a few weeks to protect him from infections, but has consistently gained weight.
As a friend of the Dupuis’ said, if ever there was a perfect family for such a baby to be born into, this is it. God has given him to a family that can handle the problems.
“Let’s see what the future holds for him,” Guy said. “Right now we are focusing on the blessing that he is in our lives. He really is a gift from God.”
As he sleeps in his mother’s lap, Matthew has no idea he has already affected thousands of people.
“He’s been pretty blessed and he doesn’t even know it,” Nicole said. “We don’t feel like God is done working miracles with him.”

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Getting Caught

Current Indiana University coach Terry Hoeppner (photo) had just finished the main part of his talk, when a member of the audience asked how he was able to grow Miami University into the national spotlight, while keeping a good name for the program. Implying that success requires a compromise of integrity or character.

Hoep as he's called, was gracious and smiled. He talked about Ben Roethlisberger and others who were part of program. He talked about looking for good people and good athletes. Finally he understood that excellence was a continual process. That process ultimately had to come down to the players and it had to be intentional.

He didn't wring has hands and give the "boys will be boys" rationale, he didn't stop at good intentions. He and his staff made it daily priority to keep character at the core of his program.

Then looking over the crowd of high school coaches, players, media and parents he stepped away from the podium... and said.. "we have a motto.
Get caught doing the right thing at the right time, for the right reasons."

Coach took it further and posted it in the Red Hawk lockerroom.


His logic is simple. You are gonna get caught. You are gonna have moments when you can't be prepared for, so get in the habit of just doing the right thing. Don't just have publicity moments of signing autographs or interviews, but instead understand that EVERY moment is a moment were you can make a stand.

What Hoep is saying, live a life of integrity. That is, be who you say you are. Even in those private moments be true to who you are and what you say you are, and what you belief. You can't take a moment off.
And if you don't do right, take responsibility and make changes.


  • What are you compromising on? Something that you aren't proud of but, justify it? Remember this unless you are consistent, you aren't "it."

Now remember the quote:

GET CAUGHT DOING THE RIGHT THING,

AT THE RIGHT TIME,

FOR THE RIGHT REASONS

Sunday, June 18, 2006

New York, New York


Not taking a risk, is risky.

I am breaking way from the sports theme for a bit. In light of news from New York. But, I hope you receive it just like it touches me.

Gotham - the Big Apple -New York, New York - big, bossy, bombastic and an All-American city.

The Empire State Building, Grand Central Station (see photo) and Central Park.

The Yankees, The Mets, The Jets, The Giants (if you count New Jersey), The Knicks, The Nets, The Rangers, The Islanders and then all the tradition of those great teams gone by... and the college teams, and even now a number of minor league teams dotting around the great city.

I love it. No, I adore it and dream of my next visit back. Maybe its like in the movie Hoosiers when the boys from Hickory looking up the seemingly cavernous Butler Fieldhouse and say, "Boy this barn holds a lot of hay!." The idea that there ain't much like this back on the farm.

I don't know if I ever want to reside in the Big Apple, but its a special place to me.

Today, I've been hearing the reports, apparently pretty believable, of a terrorist strike on the New York Subways. The strike was planned for February or March in 2003. If it happened, I would have been right there in the thick of it.

Crazy how life is a walk on a tight rope of danger. Then I thought, I would still enjoyed my time, I still would have visited. I'd done the same, had a strike happened.

New York has changed a lot since those first attacks on 911. People are more accommodating, they are more gracious and much much warmer.

But, New Yorkers are still a proud people. Their chip is still there, and they aren' t going to be intimidated or shaken by a momentary act of so-called bravery dictated by a mysterious figure who is in hiding. (That's some courage, right there.)

Bravery isn't mustering strength for a one-time action. Bravery is standing your ground because you are right and taking a change to live for it. Bravery is also knowing when you are wrong and admitting it. Bravery is having principles even if no one around shares them.

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Sounds of Silence

Today's post features an article from the Indianapolis Star The story speaks for itself.

Center fielder excels in silence

The crack of the bat. The ball popping a mitt. The umpire bellowing a third-strike call.
Baseball has many unmistakable sounds.
Norwell High School center fielder Scott Woodward wouldn't know. He is almost completely deaf.
Norwell will play Jasper Saturday in the Class 3A state high school baseball finals.
Woodward, a junior honor student, leads the Knights in many offensive categories.
He tracked down several fly balls and hit a two-RBI double that gave Norwell the lead in the Knights' state semifinal 7-1 victory over West Lafayette.
"Scott does a lot of things for us," coach Kelby Weybright said. "He has the tools to play at the next level."
A severe case of meningitis nearly killed Woodward when he was 14 months old. The disease left him deaf in one ear, and he has just 20 percent hearing in the other when he wears a hearing aid.
"With his impairment, you would think that he would stay secluded," pitching coach Kurt Gray said. "That is the opposite with Scott. The kids absolutely love him."
Woodward's condition affects him little on the baseball field, his coaches said. On defense, the speedy outfielder calls for any ball within his range. Left and right fielders know to back off.
"Scotty takes everything," Gray said. "He takes anything he can get, and the two guys beside him know it. His peripheral vision is so good, he knows what is coming at him."
In special circumstances, the coaching staff uses signals to help Woodward. When Woodward leads off second base, for example, a coach will use an arm signal if the shortstop is creeping up behind him for a pickoff play.
The signals are more important on the football field, where Woodward plays cornerback, receiver and place-kicker. Players make eye contact to relay a signal at the proper time, said Tom Neuenschwander, Norwell's director of football operations.
"They just know to look at each other," Neuenschwander said. "It's hard to describe, but they grew up with him. They know where he is going to be."
Baseball is Woodward's passion, his father, Kevin Woodward, said. Several Division I teams are interested in him.
"We are very fortunate to have Scott because, for all purposes, he died when he was 14 months old," Kevin Woodward said. "He has been a blessing.

By Mike Rasor, Indianapolis Star mike.rasor@indystar.com, June 16, 2006

The point is simple. Despite the depth of your handicap, and we all have something, don't we, you are still responsible to get back up and go. Don't make excuses, get after it.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Moving on...




Early this week I interviewed Kevin Mackey, the former Cleveland State and minor league basketball coach. He's now a scout with the NBA's Indiana Pacers.

I asked him about his now famous fall from grace and how he got back.

If you remember, in 1990 he was busted for drugs and fired as the coach at C-State. Its pretty hard to keep a job working with young adults after you were nabbed out side a crack house drunk and with cocaine in your system.

Some people would live in shame, would go into hiding and just refuse to move ahead.

He talked about living a double life. Talked about playing the game as a father and coach. Talked about being addicted and finally realizing he hit rock bottom. His life was a living hell.

In the interview he said, "it wasn't worth it. It wasn't worth losing everything because of his addictive behavior. No fancy jibber jabber. No buzz words. Just realization that he was out of control.

"If you are lucky you will be arrested, if you aren't lucky you'll be dead," he said. "I had to find something to replace it with. I had to find something better."

You see we all have an addictive behavior. Some its just like Mackey, its drugs or alcohol, some of us its work, some of its bad relationships or casual sex. But we all have a behavior that could destroy us. A crutch that we lean on to keep from walking on our own two feet.

I asked Mackey if he deals with the shame. He said he did, but had to remember, that when he dealt with the problem, it was in the past. He keeps that problem in the past.

What do you have in your past that you keep digging up?

What do you have that when the going gets tough you go to?

Is it making you better, or just keeping you from accepting responsiblity and helping you escape reality?

What have you filled your life with that's better than your addiction?

You can't move on until you find it.



If you want to hear part of the interview with Kevin Mackey click here -

click here for the interview

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Paying your dues





His name is Matt D'Orazio. He's a pro football quarterback. Today he won a championship, and unless you are a super sports fan his name probably doesn't mean much to you.

He's an Arena Football Football quarterback for the Chicago Rush. The Rush held off the Orlando Predators to win Arena Bowl XX.

I've had a chance to interview him a couple times for one of my radio shows.

Matt and Chicago are the portrait of persistence. Matt is an unassuming, simple midwestern boy from Ohio. From what I've been told. He's the type of guy you'd want to marry your daughter, or as your child's teacher. He doesn't have an impressive resume. He started out a small NCAA Division I-AA school, then transfered to a tiny Division III school. He had a great career, but make no mistake he wasn't gonna be first-round pick in the NFL draft.

That didn't stop him, for the better part of four seasons, he played bounced between AFL teams and the minor league af2 system before finally earning a starter's job with Columbus in 2005.

This season, veteran AFL coach Mike Hohensee signed the underated D'Orazio. Now, they are celebrating the ArenaBowl XX title.

I asked Matt earlier this week, "Did you ever feel like giving up and getting a real job?"

D'Orazio, a devout Christian modestly answered, "No, not at all this is what i am supposed to do. Besides, my family and friends would never let me give it up. This is about them as much as it is for me."

Its not a Super Bowl, but it is a title and D'Orazio has a lot of people to visit and a piece of "bling on his finger so show off to his friends.

Think about this...

Who are you living for? Your friends? Yourself? Your family?
What is your definition of success and who's keeping you on task?
Have you given up too much on something you love?

Another friend give me some advice last week about something very important to me that I was ready to move away from. Her advice...

"Fight, Fight, Fight... you'll not get it without the effort and risking it."

for more on Matt click here

Friday, June 09, 2006

Being comfortable

A friend of mine turned me on to one of those online DVD rental services as a result i'm taking in the myriad of movies I should have watched on the screen. The latest is "Million Dollar Baby" starring Hilary Swank, Clint Eastwood and Morgan Freeman.

Swank's character Maggie Fitzgerald leaves Missouri ahd becomes a boxer. Eventually she returns home to give her mother the deed to a brand new home. Her mother was incensed. Maggie wanted to make life better and give her an amazing gift. Instead, the mother was finding fault with the house, saying it didn't have applicances. Maggie said, "they are coming." The mom says, i can't afford this i'm on welfare. Maggie said, "I'll send you money." Every time the mom was looking for excuses, and all of them were pretty weak.

You see, the family was happy being poor and being on welfare. They didn't want to work. Day-after day they became comfortable in their run-down shack.

Toward the end of the movie, we find out the family never bothered to sign the deed. If they did, they'd have to get off welfare.

We do the same thing, start to enjoy the status quo. We are content to just get by. Maybe its lazy, maybe its fear, maybe its understanding. Maybe its indifference..no matter what it is.. its wrong.

I believe that we as people are meant to soar, to excell and to make difference... not just take resources and time from others. If you are comfortable, not challenged and content make the changes. Don't put it off.. Make a decision today to get it right.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Watching from afar

A friend of mine coaches soccer in Chicago. I mean IN CHICAGO. The campus and athletic facilities are literally carved out between buildings. If you’ve ever ridden “the L” to Wrigley Field, you’ve probably seen it for yourself.

A few years ago my friend was approached by a stranger after practice. The man lived in a nearby apartment had been watching the team daily for quite some time. He confessed that he watched through a telescope. He saw the good, the bad… everything.

The man was a member of a prominent soccer team in the Soviet Union years and years ago. Largely confined to his apartment, all he could do was watch through a telescope and remember his own glory days.

A strange thing happened over time, the elderly man was confronted with a team that wasn’t like any he ever played for. The team appeared to have a different motivation then winning alone.

He saw players and coaches laughing and hugging. He saw anger, but it wasn’t the same kind of fiery passion. He was confused. He watched more and more and became more and more confused. That’s what finally pushed him to visit a practice in person and learn more about a team that cared about each other.

The lesson is simple. We are being watched and scouted everyday. For some it might be a job opportunity or a promotion. Others it’s just a natural curiousity. The bottomline is this, you’ll be remembered for being an influence in a life, either good or bad. If you aren’t making an intentional decision, you probably aren’t making much impact.

Monday, June 05, 2006

Steroids

One of my friends coaches baseball. He loves the game more than life, and in many respects its been one of the few constants in his life. Sometimes in balance sometimes way out of whack.

Today he told me of being face to face with steroids. Almost every program that he was involved with in his adult years had someone offer to connect him with performance-enhancers.

“As easy as drinking this water,” he said. “I had them in front of me. The guy offering them to me was living proof they did work.”

He told me about all the things that steroids promised, he told me a compelling medical case for disciplined use of steroids.

Then he looked at me, saying I didn’t use them because I knew using them was wrong. That he knew that he’d disappoint his parents. He knew that he’d be doing wrong. It wasn’t a moral issue, it as just black or white, he couldn’t justify it in his mind.

It’s because he had someone counting on him


That’s just it, if you don’t have someone investing in your life, challenging you to do right, you don’t have a reason to do better… I don’t care what age you are get someone who’s wiser than you and spend some time learning from… and while you are at it, find someone you can invest into.

Sunday, June 04, 2006

WALK THE LINE



I am gonna break away from the sports theme this time. Well, its kinda sports related. I am typing this on the way to a indoor football game. I just finished watching the movie, “Walk the Line” the truth-life love story of Johnny and June Carter Cash. Hollywood dolls up any story, but the jist of the story is that when Johnny Cash was in his worst moments June Carter stood by him as a friend. From what I saw, even though he was married, she tried to do right and avoid ruining Johnny’s already troubled marriage. That’s not to say Johnny wasn’t pushing every step of the. It’s a story of a woman who was committed to a person and the right thing… or trying to do the right thing. That commitment carried on to June’s parents. About an hour and fifty minutes into the movie, it dawn on me just how committed the Carter’s were to the seemingly nare-do-well Cash. A drug dealer came to Johnny’s house. The Carters were there watching and trying to get him help. Just as the pusher came to the door, he was greeted by June’s parents brandishing double-barrel shot guns. Naturally the dealer high-tailed it away.

But what you don’t see, these seemingly good-natured, loving, moral people were willing to do whatever it took, whatever it took to keep their friend John ny Cash from plunging deeper, even if it took a little shotgun-diplomacy. That wasn’t their nature, but they did it.

We all need friends like that, friends who don’t put up with our destructive life-styles, that will lay it on the line. That’s more than just good feelings, that’s love. That’s an intentional discussion.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

The Babe



Babe Ruth. His name like no other name says what is great about baseball. Even though most of us never even saw him play, more than a half century since his death he’s still bigger than life.

The sepia toned movies of the big man lumbering around the bases. Even if you don’t like baseball, you know Babe Ruth. In my minds eye, I see, the Bambino with a crown on his head and winking.

In a few days, a local auction will sell an autograph from the games greatest legend. It could fetch more than $1,000 dollars. I won’t be surprised. I wondered what could make a symbol of a man so valuable.

Let’s consider. He was a man that was perfect for the times he was living in. It’s a classic example of the right man, right place, right time. Baseball was fighting to recover from the Black Sox gambling scandal.

How did he become one of the greatest names in sports. Here’s what I think.

1. He was consistent - He did what he was supposed to do as a ball player. His success wasn’t short-lived he was able to come up big when needed.

2. He was real - Babe Ruth, I am sure was a lot of things, but he was excited about life
and the opportunities it presented. Not all of them good choices, but he was enthusiastic. He wasn't ordinary.

3. He cared - He understood that success was to be shared. As much as I think of the home runs, I think of his love for kids. He cared for baseball.

4. He had a great team around him - The New York Yankee dynasty is still considered one of greatest of all time. Everyone still measures their success against the Bronx Bombers. Those team mates played to his strengths and covered his weaknesses. There are some that say Babe Ruth wouldn’t have been as great, without Lou Gehrig batting right behind him.

5. He understood his limits - The late 1920s, Ruth was making more than the President of the US. The Babe laughed and said, “I had a better year.” His role was to play baseball and help the Yankees win. His job wasn’t fight Nazi tyranny in Europe.

6. He took risks. At one point, he struck out more than any player in the game. You can’t hit the long ball, generally, if you are watching balls go by.

7. He was good when he had to be. He didn’t hit a home run, or even get on base every time that he came to the plate. He just was good enough, enough of the time to make a difference.

And really aren’t those same things true for us. Want to make a difference in the lives of others, build a legacy in your family, your friends, your co-workers. Remember these concepts. You probably won’t be remembered by the rest of the world, but your memory will mean the world to those who knew you.

note: The baseball sold for more than $22,000.